you give me fever

i’ve got a friend.
suffering from yellow fever.
“I can’t help it!” he says.

I find ethno-fetishes a little bizarre.
what every happened to free love and being color blind.
jungle fever
yellow fever
colorstruck
snowflake
bamboo lover

i find it a little strange that there are terms for sexual fetishes based on the color of one’s skin.
Or maybe I find it hard to believe because I have never felt that way about any one before.

leave your comments .
I’d like to know what you all think.

December 23, 2007. dating. 1 comment.

before i knew better

i have become one of those girls
that waits by the phone
hoping that he will call.

i have become one of those girls
that drinks vodka and coke
that waits by the phone
hoping that he will call.

i have become on of those girls
listening to sad love songs
that is drinks vodka and coke
that waits by the phone
hoping that he will call.

10 minutes to 11 pm
and I am waiting.
i hate the butterflies in my tummy
that flurry about when i think of him.
I hate my heart for falling for him
i hate my mind for failing to make me smarter, better and stronger.

so I have become one of those girls
waiting by the phone
hoping that he will call
hoping he will come over
and our fingers can touch again.

December 21, 2007. dating, love. 2 comments.

lucky

Tilly crawls in to my bed
and I am nervous as I wonder if she can see you in my sheets
or smell you on my pillows

She knows you well Seb
enough to sense your worry
enough to ask ‘How are things with him and you’

I can’t help but watch Tilly
counting gummy bears and flipping though my Vogue
I can tell she is watching me
looking for unfamiliar clothing
of boys unknown
looking for clues
that may lead to this relationships’ demise

She can’t read my mind
and its thoughts of D and dirty acts
She can’t hear my brain
as it whirs creating excuses and silly conversation
She can’t see my heart
ready to explode through my chest as I wait for you to walk through the door

So i cross my legs
sit on my floor
where we have spent many a night before
I smile and say
how happy i am
how lucky i am
to have you
and how lucky you are to be with me
Your ebony skin
red lip stained
whore

December 14, 2007. C'est Moi, love, men. 1 comment.

i want you

my phone buzzes
sliding across my table.
D
D
it’s D again.
It’s been weeks, since I’ve seen him
touched him
heard from him.

I hold my breath, wanting the phone to stop.
I feel like he can see me, ignoring his call.
I sit nervous, so nervous.

Once the love was strong
Now it’s long, long gone
Cause the pain, came down like a storm
i remained holding on
Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you

message recieved.
you’ve heard that i’ve been sick
my lungs refused to get fixed
‘I want to make you soup’ you say
‘I hope you feel better’ you say

Once the love was strong
Now it’s long, long gone
Cause the pain, came down like a storm
i remained holding on
Cause I want you, cause I want you
I want you, I want you

I lie here sick
my chest burns
my throat raw
my body heavy
but my heart

my heart is weak
my heart misses you
my heart is weak

I hate that i need you this much
I hate that i want you this much
so I lie
lie in bed
lie to Seb
lie to my self
and sleep
wanting you to disappear

December 10, 2007. love, memory, men. 1 comment.