our fickle friend romance

an email addressed to me from a close friend
made me giggle a little
thought I should share it.

It’s fair to say that I know nothing of romance. I can not pretend that I am an expert as I barely understand its definition.

Romance

Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): ro·manced; ro·manc·ing

To try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery
I have found it rather difficult to locate romance.  Here amongst the urban landscape the city seems to laugh at me.  Despite the life that surrounds me I can not help but feel cold as I brush up against bitter strangers and the daily grinds of day to day. But fear not darling I will not let my dreary thoughts of romance in any way shape today’s topic.

Romance: Friend or Faux?

Let’s be serious for a moment shall we.  When was the last time you were swept off your feet? How long ago was a smile and a dozen roses brought to your door? Perhaps, a singing telegram? Or a thoughtful poem? It has been a while huh? That is what I thought. Here are three ways to bring more romance to a relationship, courtesy of my MOTHER.

  1. Flash him: Yes, you read right. FLASH HIM. Make sure you remind him/her of your God given goods. You know in case he/she have forgotten. This works best in public. PUBLIC.
  2. Make a Mix Tape: Apparently I will not really appreciate love with out a mix tape. a.mix.tape. That means you won’t either, when was the last time you got a fucking love tape? Who still uses tape??
  3. Seduce with Scent: I want you to end my life.

 

Today’s helpful hints brought to you by the matron on Zoloft.
My Madres, a woman in possibly the most toxic relationship in history avec the man I call my father (and of course his current mistress).

Next week: The Orgasm. Fact or Fiction?

 

XOXO
SP.

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November 3, 2007. Tags: . C'est Moi, Uncategorized.

One Comment

  1. aporia24 replied:

    1. thanks for the tip
    2. so shud i make a mixtape or no??
    3. thank god i already use

    such an awesome blog, by the way.

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