always and forever

“I would like to think that you heart is mine.” He whispered.
Perhaps it was the alcohol messing with my brain
or the drugs skipping through my viens,
surely I wasn’t hearing him correctly.
“What?” I shouted, alarmed at the sound of my voice. Strained and hoarse.
“I would like to think that your heart belongs to be.” He repeated twice this time to be clear.
“Surely you must be joking.” I pushed Him aside and stepped over the kissing couple that gropped about on the floor underneath us. Surley He was joking.
I did not need this now. Not ever. Not again.
Pulling me away from the crowd, the white noise of music and careless chit chat fell away as we headed outside now.
“I want you back.I need you back.”
“I’m seeing someone. You know that.”
“I need you. I need you.”
“That’s always been the problem hasn’t it. You need me, I need you.”
“You admit it then.That you miss me.”
“Ofcourse I miss you. But I am more than fine with out you.”
“Do you love him? Seb?”
“I do.”
“Do you love me?”
I sat in silence afraid of my heart’s answer.
“I do. I will not lie, I do. I always will and I understand that I always will.”

Morning broke.
I lay in bed as Seb stirred in his sleep.
I wanted to wake him
make love to him,
make the fuzzy ache that sat in my chest go away forever.
I let him sleep,
watching his chest rise and fall.
I let him sleep,
thankful that morning had come.


September 6, 2007. dating, love.

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