please don’t turn me on

Seb has a way of making me forget you.
His hair thick and dark fall about his heavy lidded blue eyes which watch my every move from across the room.
There is a party on, but there is no one dancing.
Girls and boys line up against walls, beers and bottles in hands as the hot summer wind weighs heavy on us all.
He is distracted not by the long lithe girls with their American Apparel t shirts and fringed faces.

“Go to him!” Yoli hisses her words slurring as she waves about her ciagrette. “Go to him!”
I stand perfectly still. I need not move, I simply smile.
I am thankful for Seb, for he takes my cue.

His calloused fingers run rough across my skin.
Holding hands, seated on the stoop we talk.
We speak of music and lyrics,
Friends, family and foe,
fashion, sex, porn and dim sum.
He rolls his R’s which make my muscles twitch and mind wander.
I dare not kiss him. Not yet.
Take it slow.
Take it easy.
Let this crush linger.
Just a little bit longer.

He kisses me faintly on the cheek.
Disappears in to the night.
My muscles still twitch.


August 12, 2007. dating, men.

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